Wednesday, December 8, 2010

SILENT SCREAM

AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHA - that is how I feel today.  How can one person be so high and happy one second and want to slit her wrists the next?  I hate this feeling...why can't I be normal?  Why must this be so difficult?  Why must I keep a dog that I hate and why would Mike make me promise to keep a dog he knew I hated?  Why? Why? Why?  Why me?  Why you?  Why any of us? 

Where is the manual for life?  What do I have to do to get through this day?  Who cares?  How did we get to this exact point in life?  When I was little I never dreamt that today I would be sitting in the exact spot I am and so completely clueless...

How do I get out of bed tomorrow?  How do I look at my child without bursting into tears?  How do I babystep my way back to normal?  What is normal? 

ahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah!

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