How bittersweet when on the day of Bri's birth I look at her and remember the very day she was born and what was going on...who was there, what was said and the love surrounding her. Bri was born with a hole in her abdomen and her intestines were outside her body. I had a planned c-section 3 weeks early to keep her intestines whole. She was so tiny and quiet I had to ask if she was still in the room and then they brought her over to Mike to hold. He was so proud of his baby girl and from that moment on she had him wrapped around her little finger. She could do no wrong :)
Saturday my little girl turned 14 and she got dressed for her first homecoming dance with Jaydan, her boyfriend. She put on her pretty black dress and curled her hair and wore the necklace Jaydan gave her for her birthday. They went to dinner and then were dropped off at the high school. Bri had a blast - she came home all smiles and happy. It was good to see.
On Thursday before her birthday I took her and one of her BFFs, Hannah, to Mimi's Cafe for dinner. We had breakfast (along w/ chocolate cake.) Friday she got flowers at school which was a first for her and slept over at a friends to prolong the getting ready activities. She went to the varsity football game and watched Rampart win!
So on this memorable week when my child was born I reflect back on the last 14 years and wonder where the time went? How did we get to be standing here like we are in the exact spot God chose for us to be? Mike would be proud of his baby girl...she will always be Daddy's little girl! She's our miracle baby.
She told me she wanted to invite Mason to Japan with us if there's enough money b/c he's family and Mike would want him to go. I don't know about that but we'll see what next year brings for the remaining Holliday clan.
Next Sunday is the day we scatter Mike's ashes. October 3, 2009 was the exact day he received a new life. He was upset b/c he no longer shared the same DNA as Bri and Mason. He will be able to blow to New Mexico like he said he wanted to do. I believe he's watching over all of us and he's locked in our hearts with all the good memories to comfort us.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Can I buy a vowel please?
I'd like to add something...I know what but I know I can't. It's too quiet in my house now. Bri has her own life as a high schooler and either is never home or has friends over all the time.
Mike's ashes came today. Bri was all excited to get a "package" until she realized what was in it. Wow, to be reducted to a bag of dirt...to realize that your life has meaning other than a physical one...to live out loud and be present in the moment - good, bad, pretty, ugly - just be here. We will be scattering the ashes on Pikes Peak on October 3. We will take some with us to Japan so Mike can return to the country he loved so much and so he can make the journey with us.
Bri turns 14 next week and it breaks my heart that her dad isn't standing next to me to celebrate these milestones with her. I know he's watching from heaven which is a way more awesome experience than what she is going through but these are the milestones she gets to live right now. The homecoming dance is on her birthday and Mike never met Jayden, her boyfriend. I'll post photos so everyone can celebrate with us.
Just me ranting...I'm ok right this minute (as long as I don't listen to the radio.)
Mike's ashes came today. Bri was all excited to get a "package" until she realized what was in it. Wow, to be reducted to a bag of dirt...to realize that your life has meaning other than a physical one...to live out loud and be present in the moment - good, bad, pretty, ugly - just be here. We will be scattering the ashes on Pikes Peak on October 3. We will take some with us to Japan so Mike can return to the country he loved so much and so he can make the journey with us.
Bri turns 14 next week and it breaks my heart that her dad isn't standing next to me to celebrate these milestones with her. I know he's watching from heaven which is a way more awesome experience than what she is going through but these are the milestones she gets to live right now. The homecoming dance is on her birthday and Mike never met Jayden, her boyfriend. I'll post photos so everyone can celebrate with us.
Just me ranting...I'm ok right this minute (as long as I don't listen to the radio.)
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Mike
Hello everyone. I'm sorry I haven't updated everyone sooner. We just got internet at our new place. Bri, Dakota and I got moved in over Labor Day Weekend. Thanks to Jason, Margie, kids, Chris, Jodi, Michelle, Zack, Bri, her friend, and Jamie from work (if I forgot anyone I'm sorry) for the help. We were able to get everything moved the two miles to our new house in half a day with only minor casualties (my brain being one of them.)
We have good days and bad days like I'm sure you all do. The first day Dakota was left alone in our new house he had a panic attack and a seizure that they think was due to epilepsy so it's been interesting in my world. This is the part where I usually update everyone on Mike's health - not the dog's!
Bri and I will be planning a housewarming party so everyone can stop by. We will be taking Mike's ashes up to Pikes Peak on October 3rd to scatter him so he can blow to New Mexico. A friend had a great idea and suggested we take a little bit of Mike to Japan with us when we go. The Japan trip is planned for spring break 2012. Bri will be a junior and we want to see the cherry blossoms in bloom. Bri is saving money to go on our church youth group mission trip in 2012 as well - they are going to Kenya. Her passport will be crazy by the time she graduates.
I can't listen to the radio anymore. "Boys of Summer" came on in the car on the drive to work and I lost it. He loved playing music with each and every one of you. His xbox live friends asked me to keep his account open so they can keep him on their friends list. He loved playing online w/ them. He would have loved to watch the Redskins stomp Dallas last week - I'm sure God heard about that one :)
I will be updating the blog w/ the adventures of we three...the site is www.hollidayfamilyinco.blogspot.com. Thank you for all the love and support and prayers that have outpoured for Bri and me.
Call, text, FB or blog if you'd like - I'm back to work full time so there's no guarantee I'll answer but I promise to call back.
What I didn't say in the email is that it's rough walking into Blockbuster to get a movie on Tuesday and not getting an action/funny/horror flick so Mike can have something to do in the hospital. It's hard to watch a chick flick b/c it's too painful to watch people be happy. I watch Bri for signs of issues and have to pause every time she leaves the house she yells up the stairs, "I love you, mom." Do you know how hard it is to learn to cook for 2? It's not even fun.
I go to starbucks and almost order a frap - but I don't drink them. I almost called home to vent about work last week but realized there was no one home to vent to. I have so much free time I'm not sure what to do w/ myself anymore.
The house is too quiet - do you realize how much your men do for you? I had to hook up the big screen on my own (no small feat) and adjust my schedule to allow to let the dog out (or even feed the dog.) Mike used to play videogames all day and night b/c that's all he could do - there's no tv on at all unless Bri is watching a movie.
I know this is painful for each of you in your own way so please disregard the rantings of a crazy white single mom of a teenage girl :( I'm told that life gets a little easier day by day.
We have good days and bad days like I'm sure you all do. The first day Dakota was left alone in our new house he had a panic attack and a seizure that they think was due to epilepsy so it's been interesting in my world. This is the part where I usually update everyone on Mike's health - not the dog's!
Bri and I will be planning a housewarming party so everyone can stop by. We will be taking Mike's ashes up to Pikes Peak on October 3rd to scatter him so he can blow to New Mexico. A friend had a great idea and suggested we take a little bit of Mike to Japan with us when we go. The Japan trip is planned for spring break 2012. Bri will be a junior and we want to see the cherry blossoms in bloom. Bri is saving money to go on our church youth group mission trip in 2012 as well - they are going to Kenya. Her passport will be crazy by the time she graduates.
I can't listen to the radio anymore. "Boys of Summer" came on in the car on the drive to work and I lost it. He loved playing music with each and every one of you. His xbox live friends asked me to keep his account open so they can keep him on their friends list. He loved playing online w/ them. He would have loved to watch the Redskins stomp Dallas last week - I'm sure God heard about that one :)
I will be updating the blog w/ the adventures of we three...the site is www.hollidayfamilyinco.blogspot.com. Thank you for all the love and support and prayers that have outpoured for Bri and me.
Call, text, FB or blog if you'd like - I'm back to work full time so there's no guarantee I'll answer but I promise to call back.
What I didn't say in the email is that it's rough walking into Blockbuster to get a movie on Tuesday and not getting an action/funny/horror flick so Mike can have something to do in the hospital. It's hard to watch a chick flick b/c it's too painful to watch people be happy. I watch Bri for signs of issues and have to pause every time she leaves the house she yells up the stairs, "I love you, mom." Do you know how hard it is to learn to cook for 2? It's not even fun.
I go to starbucks and almost order a frap - but I don't drink them. I almost called home to vent about work last week but realized there was no one home to vent to. I have so much free time I'm not sure what to do w/ myself anymore.
The house is too quiet - do you realize how much your men do for you? I had to hook up the big screen on my own (no small feat) and adjust my schedule to allow to let the dog out (or even feed the dog.) Mike used to play videogames all day and night b/c that's all he could do - there's no tv on at all unless Bri is watching a movie.
I know this is painful for each of you in your own way so please disregard the rantings of a crazy white single mom of a teenage girl :( I'm told that life gets a little easier day by day.
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